I've been thinking lately about when I was young. I believed in destiny and soulmates. I believed that I was an ancient soul who had been on the planet since the advent of time and that I had been at least partially responsible for the sinking of Atlantis. My goal in this life was to bring something fantastic to fruition on the planet.
But first I needed to lose weight and grow my hair long.
I was saddened by the fact that my soulmates - yes there were more than two and yes I realized that I had been wrong about the first three - were dating other people. It was ok though, because I knew their souls and I knew that they loved me even though they thought they loved their girlfriends. So I hung on their every word listening for the hints that would indicate their true feelings for me. And I knew that they would recognize who I really was just as soon as I lost weight and grew my hair long.
The first step in the process of achieving my ultimate goal - and fufilling my destiny - was to get the world's attention. Then everybody would be listening when I gave them the enlightening fantastic universal news bulletin. That meant I needed to become a famous movie star. Quickly. And in order to attain that status, I really needed to get on the ball about losing weight and growing my hair long.
I guess what I'm doing here is offering you - the world - an apology. I am sure the message would've come through if I'd managed to get organized about the whole thing. But unfortunately I've been consistently stuck on level one. I was thin with long hair in my mid twenties for about 3-4 years but sadly I was pretty self obsessed and forgot all about saving humanity.
Sorry.
The good news is that I've recommitted to growing my hair long and I am really going to try to stop eating at night. So within about a year (fingers crossed) I'll be back on track to becoming a famous movie star and then I'll be able to, you know, tell you all what I was planning to. And it should help.
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